ShinyPlasticBag

So, I've had a weird and wacky shift. I thought I'd tell you all about it because I'm bored. Let's set the stage a bit.

Tawnya, health records clerk extraordinaire, didn't show up for work tonight. Or last night. No calls or notification of any kind to anyone. Her Dad called here looking for her, and her cell phone is off. The cell phone being off isn't unusual by any stretch of the imagination, but her just not showing up really is. So, Andrea, Debbie, and myself were all worried about her, and I was elected to abandon the health centre and go off on an epic quest to track her down. At 11:30, I drove over to her place and found that it was deserted. Tawnya lives in sort of a boarding house, and everybody was gone. As I was leaving, some people arrived and were carting away furniture. They told me that everyone had moved to somewhere off of Portland Street in downtown Dartmouth. Off of a street called “Wayward or Maynard” and in a house on — get this — stilts. Yes, stilts. So, I headed back to the hospital and informed the Pattersons of this.

Continue reading “Kicking Satan's Ass”...

• Written on 29 August 2004 & posted at 02:20 AM.
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I found this online (at Kabalarian Philosophy) and thought it was funny: While the name Mark creates the urge to be creative, independent and original, we point out that it limits self-expression and friendly congeniality with a tendency to be moody. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses heart, lungs, bronchial area, and tension or accidents to the head. Oh, and I just heard a great Lewis Black quote: “I like being in Canada. It's just like home, but the people have brains.”

Next time you really want to mix up your night and have a grand ol' time, here's what you do. Take all of the alarm clocks in your whole house and set them up at random spots in your bedroom. Synchronize them all. Choose a good starting time — say, 4:24 am — and set one of the clocks to go off at that time. Then, set each of the other clocks to go off at a random time shortly thereafter. For example, say you have four clocks. They might go off at 4:24, 4:31, 4:42, and 4:48. Nice. Random. After each goes off, try to go back to sleep. When the last one has gone off, go to the bathroom and take a dump.

What do you get from all of this? Nothing at all, honestly. However, I think it's funny.

It's 4:24, and I'm lonely.

• Written on 28 August 2004 & posted at 04:24 AM.
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So, as time marches onward, the return of my faithful server looms ever closer. The last status update from Tony had him installing PHP/MySQL, which is pretty close to the end of the process. After that, he has to install the software that makes it act like a gateway — you know, the DHCP server, Network Address Translation, all that jazz. I'm still hoping for a Monday return.

However, once the server is back, there is still a lot to do. This whole exercise has been a pretty good excuse for a complete site overhaul, and I'm not going to let it pass me by. The web folder was a mess before, and it needs to be organized. I'm also updating my version of Nucleus, which is more than a year old (I was using version 2.0 — a beta, as I recall). Version 3.1 looks like it has some cool new features that I can't wait to try out. The admin area in particular looks quite nice, with a helpful sidebar to provide one-click access to various areas.

Without a web site to mess around with, I've been experimenting with new programs on my laptop. I've downloaded SmartFTP (which is free for personal use), but I'm not sure how much I like it. It looks nice and works well, but the interface has some crappinesses that I don't like. I also installed a new RSS reader, Sage, that seems quite nice. It's a Firefox extension (nice) with auto-discovery of feeds, and the feeds are stored in the Bookmarks Manager so they're easy to work with. I never really “got” the whole RSS thing, but I'm giving it a shot again to see if I can finally see what everyone else has been harping about for the past two years. I am forcing myself to use these guys for a week.

PS: Watching people build motorcycles, no matter how tricked out they are, is incredibly boring. I can't imagine why Discovery Channel has so many of these shows.

• Written on 27 August 2004 & posted at 05:43 AM.
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So, it finally happened. Trinity, faithful computer for almost three years and then equally faithful server for another almost two has passed on. Or, her hard drive has, anyway. What does that mean for me?

Well, thanks to a home network that could probably withstand a nuclear blast, I managed to get the other computers back online pretty fast (see image). My wireless access point doubles as a router, so everyone is happily chattering away again. There are, of course, two problems right now: (1) no email@shinyplasticbag.com, and (2) no www.shinyplasticbag.com.

Of course, if you're reading this, I've already fixed it. But right now, the problem seems insurmountable, because I lost /var/ on the server, meaning that I lost all of my MySQL data. This includes...everything, actually. My blog and Linkpool are now toast. I do have a backup, but it's about a month old, meaning that I've lost quite a few blog entries. If any of you guys are using Internet Explorer as your browser (although I really hope not), check your cache for old versions of this page, and please send any that you find to me. It would be a life saver. My last ditch effort after this is to check the Internet Archive in about six months to see if any copies of it were archived (there's a six month delay before data goes live). I'm not counting on that, however.

• Written on 25 August 2004 & posted at 05:21 AM.
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What? No other content?? Are you crazy??? Yes. But not crazy enough to only post these pictures! I'd like to briefly pontificate on lady leg razor commercials. In particular, the “Venus Divine” variety, which features new ladies in a new place to a remix of the original song. The query is, what group of women gets together in matching bathing suits to hang out in a utopian waterfall resort and shave their legs together? Hotness of the ladies be damned — that's messed up. Since when did it become okay for commercials to have absolutely nothing to do with reality? And why did anyone think that a commercial like that would make women want to buy their product?

• Written on 22 August 2004 & posted at 04:22 AM.
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In case actually thought that John licked an ashtray, I just want to make sure everyone knows that it was just a blog title and nothing more. Flip through my archives: have any of my titles ever made sense? Well, okay, a few have. But this one doesn't. So, John, sorry for tarnishing your reputation for non-licking. And I hope you're having fun in Ontario. Moving along...

So, this has been a boring week. I'm not sure why — lots was going on, mainly involving Janet moving into her new “crib”. However, I haven't had much to say at all. It's now Friday and I have no good stories, with the exception of...well, nothing. Except I'm feeling somewhat dubious, as Pugsley called me about half an hour ago urging me to come down to the house as soon as possible and to “bring my camera. Seriously.”, because he had “done something really stupid”. I'm not going to go into the details of what exactly it was, because I took a picture. Since a picture is worth a thousand words, I'm going to wait and let the photo explain itself (I left the camera at their house). In addition to that wonderful little number, I have something else to post which is just as funny (if not more so).

Anyway, it's almost time for me to leave. I have work tonight (as usual), and I also have to meet my dad along the way to drop a computer off for him. I was given it because it wouldn't boot, apparently, but when I got it home, it worked fine. My guess is that either one of the cables was loose or the monitor is broken. The owners are not the most technologically sophisticated people around.

And on the agenda for this weekend: hanging out with Russell and Amanda, hanging out with James. Anything else I've forgotten?

• Written on 20 August 2004 & posted at 09:17 PM.
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A: Today is August 16th.
B: August 16th is my mom's birthday.
C: Today is my mom's birthday.
A+B .: C. Wish my mom a happy birthday, will ya? I don't think we're doing anything for her birthday tonight, but maybe tomorrow we'll go out for dinner or something. Last week, Janet and I bought her a wicked cool lamp from Panhandler. It's a “fogger lamp”, which spews out fog while it's on, basically making it look magic. In real life, it's a humidifier and the fog is just waper vapour, but it's damn cool nonetheless, and fits in with our living room quite nicely.

Not much happening except for mom's birthday thing. Thanks to the wonders of SpindeXML, however, I can give a few useless stats. It's been exactly five years since I got a copy of “My Own Worst Enemy” by Lit, which we were obsessed with, four years since “American Psycho” by Treble Charger, and two years since “Cheek to Cheek” by the Starting Line (although I think I was the only one who really got into that song).

I'm a dork. And speaking of which, who's up for a Super Mario Time Attack Challenge tonight?

• Written on 16 August 2004 & posted at 04:49 PM.
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Good day, y'all. It's a rainy Saturday, and as usual, I am watching the Discovery Channel. I love the Discovery Channel, and have no clue how I ever lived without the Discovery Channel. The Discovey Channel is very neat. I'm hoping to spend the evening idle, since it's been a while since I last backshifted and I'm somewhat out of the groove. Whether or not this actually happens is always a mystery, but here's hoping. Theoretically, the most complicated thing I will be doing tonight is figuring out why my coffee percolator is always letting grinds through to the coffee, regardless of filter configuration. This is especially odd, since I'm actually using the correct sized filters for the first time in a good two years. Sigh.

My new number one pet peeve on the Internet: BitTorrent “ratios”. Remember waaay back in the dark ages before Napster corrupted the Internet, and people got their MP3s from FTP sites? Remember how annoying the ratio sites were, the ones that required you to upload so many songs before you could download any? I've encountered a whole heap of new torrent files that require you to register with a web site before the tracker will let you download, which I find very reminiscent of the ratio days. It's infuriating, and I don't understand why people don't just download the data and host ratio-free versions of the trackers (I don't, because I've got a laptop that isn't connected on a regular schedule).

Besides my psychotic hatred of anything that inhibits my downloading, not much of interest is actually happening in my world. Just work. And registering for school (which is shaping up to be a fun, albeit difficult, semester). Anyone who Dalhousies or St Mary's's this fall should call me, because I'm thinking that it would be a blast for us all to get together for coffee once a week. Just like old times.

Alas, I'm off to get some breakfast (yes, it's almost five). And I'm really getting sick of the new Canadian Tire commercial for the gas water compressor. And the Dairy Queen bwownee battah bwizzid commercial, too. Ah, fuck, it came on the instant I wrote that sentenced. GRR.

• Written on 14 August 2004 & posted at 04:47 PM.
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Woot, woot, folks. I've got myself a copy of SP2 (via Linkpool — yahoo!) and a new desktop. The change of theme was necessitated by some graphical bugs that the new Wireless Network Connection dialog causes. This theme isn't immune to it (very few — except the default, of course — are), but it's not so bad. Basically, the sidebar gets weird colours that wouldn't bother most people, but drive me insane.



Anyhoo, it's Mike's birthday, and I pulled a wee prank on him. Take a peek at Big Gay Mike's Big Gay Blog before he has the chance to fix it. And in case you've missed it, here's a screenshot. Happy 21st, Mike!

• Written on 10 August 2004 & posted at 03:44 AM.
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One of the things I hate most in life is being hungry. And that is exactly what I am right now. I just got off of the phone with Mom and we were brainstorming about supper; I think we'll have chicken and cheese cannelloni with caesar salad. Mmm. Of course, that won't be until seven or eight tonight, so I've got to find something to hold me over for six hours. Sigh.
Yesterday, I finally-finally-finally got to play Doom 3. I'm both impressed and sad: the game is amazing, but it doesn't run very well on my system. Doom 3 requires a 1.8 GHz processor, 384 MB of RAM, and 128 MB on the video card. I have a 2.8 GHz processor, 384 MB of RAM, and 128 MB on the video card. Therefore, it should run pretty well. However, it's still slightly choppy on medium quality 640x480. Which makes me sad. However, the atmosphere in the game is amazing, and their attention to detail is nothing short of amazing: for example, in the first level, there are empty pop cans lying around, and you can punch them. The cans dent and go flying. Ditto for pylons and stuff.
Anyway, John just got here. Little mister whiny pants is complaining about (woe is him) how many CDs he has to pack. Poor muffin. We're off to find something interesting to do, so I'll bump into everyone randomly.

• Written on 09 August 2004 & posted at 02:11 PM.
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Good god, I love Firefox. Check your browser. And then fix it.

• Written on 07 August 2004 & posted at 08:39 PM.
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Life has proved Mike's philosophy on life true once again: somehow, things will randomly work out. After an accidental vacation struck and left me with no shifts either last weekend or this weekend, things balanced out. Last week, I picked up four extra shifts (making up for the two weekends off), and I picked up one tomorrow morning just for shits and giggles. I hate the morning shifts, though, so imagine my surprise when Monica from work called and asked if I'd be willing to take backshift tonight instead, as though it was somehow a big favour I was doing them. Ha! If ever I am stuck doing a morning shift, I'll always be ready, willing, and able to take a backshift instead. I may be a lot of things, but a morning person I am not.

Janet, John, and Pugs are off to see Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle tonight, which I really want to see. However, I am not really in a movie mood tonight, so I opted to skip it and see it sometime later. I'm content to stay on the couch and watch TV, and generally prepare myself mentally for a whole night of sitting at a desk and watching TV. You can see how that works, can't you?

Anyway, I'm anxiously awaiting the completion of a big download: Doom 3. I have been waiting for this game for, um, eight years. I really hope some sort of level-editting tool comes out soon, because that was always my favourite part about Doom. This download has been going on, it seems, since the beginning of time, however. I started the download on Tuesday and it's still only at 86%. Gah. At least it's better than this time yesterday — overnight, I got more than 50%. This just verifies my theory that BitTorrent only goes quickly when it knows that you're not paying attention. Other than that, it tops out at 3 KB a second. Arg.

So, that's all the excitement in my life. I've spent the last few days patching pretty much every program on my computer (since a lot seem to have experienced upgrades), and I just installed new firmware for my wireless router. Plus, thanks to some deft reconfiguring, I can now access other computers on my network by entering their name, instead of an IP. I'd explain why it was configured the other way in the first place, but it's just so boring. That's all, folks — see you next time.

• Written on 07 August 2004 & posted at 06:57 PM.
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Well, I'm still coding. It's been a few weeks since I really started the crazy-go-nuts attack on the Summer of Express contest, but I think I'm nearing the finish line. Actually, SpindeXML is pretty much done. For the past day or so, I've just been tweaking the look of it, going from bland Windows default (well, StyleXP default) to a nice blue theme. Russell has been very helpful here, making me a new logo and a neat little ripple for the background. Check it out: before and after. I'm still debating whether I should add an option to toggle between the two looks — somebody convince me one way or the other, please.

Guess what? One more month until Firefox 1.0 is expected. I can't wait. Speaking of Firefox, I've discovered a great extension, via Thinking Digitally. It's FoxAmp, which adds six buttons to the Firefox status bar to control Winamp. How awesome is that? It's a bit buggy (it won't open Winamp for me, so I have to open it manually, but it can control it), but it works. Life is happy. I love the cute lil FoxAmp. Give it a whirl.

Off to watch American Justice (B.S.E.).

• Written on 03 August 2004 & posted at 02:23 PM.
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So, I'm at Russell & Amanda's, watching Batman Returns. I haven't seen this movie in ages, maybe since it was brand new. I still remember how I excited I was over this movie — I got a “The Making Of...” book and a bunch of the action figures. Good times, good times. And any movie with Christopher Walken in it absolutely kicks ass, although my opinion of him hasn't been the same since he did that Fatboy Slim video. Now, I sort of giggle whenever I see him. Tee hee.

Anyway, last night was Russell's belated birthday party, whereby everyone got together for the first time in a while. There was much discussion about the video tapes, predictably, with no real results. We know so far that there have been 8 videos and each one has a letter of the alphabet somewhere in it, starting at Z with Mike and going backwards one letter at a time. Weird, huh?

Alas, I'm off to pay attention to the movie again. Later.

• Written on 01 August 2004 & posted at 01:55 AM.
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