Another Year of Stupid

Dec
31

Well, I’m off to a cabin party tonight at Sara Bood’s dad’s place, which should make for a pretty amusing New Year’s (better than last year, at least). I can’t believe 2005 is over — it really went by fast. I hope 2006 is fun.

Anyway, about two years ago, I started keeping a text file full of humorous instant messaging exchanges between me and my friends (this was originally Taylor’s idea, and I blatantly stole it from him). In honour of the passing of 2005, I thought I’d share some of my favourite stupid moments before I move “Textual Intercourse 2005.txt” to ye olde archive foldere.

Steve has some brilliant ideas about solving the world’s problems:

[06-10 @ 00:57] Steve: i’ve decided to fight continental drift
[06-10 @ 00:57] Mark: How so?
[06-10 @ 00:57] Steve: petitions

Taylor has a unique world-view:

[06-10 @ 14:52] Taylor: you canadians think everything revolves around you

(Intermission: I’m splitting this into a read more sort of deal. Keep going if dare. Mwahaha. etc.)

Pugsley and I like to discuss politics:

[07-13 @ 01:13] Mark: Maybe the world needs a good war to decrease the paranoia level.
[07-13 @ 01:14] Pugsley: more like a good lecture
[07-13 @ 01:14] Pugsley: about the nonsense they keep leting happen
[07-13 @ 01:14] Pugsley: letting
[07-13 @ 01:14] Mark: hehe
[07-13 @ 01:14] Mark: “NO! BAD Americans. BAD!”
[07-13 @ 01:14] Pugsley: go to your room
[07-13 @ 01:14] Pugsley: you too sweden
[07-13 @ 01:15] Pugsley: and china quit poking at your neighbors
[07-13 @ 01:15] Mark: and take down that shitty wall
[07-13 @ 01:15] Pugsley: and russia could you please get over your seperation anxiety thing
[07-13 @ 01:15] Pugsley: they left you move on

I get messages like this all the time:

[08-01 @ 02:09] Keddy: aethag
[08-01 @ 02:09] Keddy: I am le drunk

After Steve got his car fixed:

[08-02 @ 12:06] Steve: new exhaust new sparkplugs new tranny! all power restored!

The world’s busiest person:

[09-20 @ 12:20] Alex: i’ll give you a call tonight
[09-20 @ 12:20] Alex: call me to remind me

The world’s brokenest person:

[09-26 @ 15:21] Mark: You’re broken.
[09-26 @ 15:21] Castro: I prefer defective
[09-26 @ 15:23] Castro: I just yawned, and I drooled a bit
[09-26 @ 15:24] Mark: You’re definitely broken

It’s been 3 months and I just noticed that he wrote “bowels”:

[09-28 @ 23:25] Tony: Remember how you got like 8 bowels of clam chowder?
[09-28 @ 23:25] Mark: That was good chowder. Don’t knock it.

Sigh:

[10-12 @ 00:59] Keddy: I didn’t think plants had eyes.

Double sigh:

[10-19 @ 17:59] Keddy: hehe… food need me to eat it

Poor Pugsley is so shy:

[11-22 @ 02:13] Pugsley: yea I have been trying my damndest to ask her out
[11-22 @ 02:13] Pugsley: but I keep asking her how her day was
[11-22 @ 02:13] Pugsley: I am broken

Warning: participants are stupid.

[10-18 @ 23:44] Mark: Wow, you have really soft girlie hands.
[10-18 @ 23:44] Keddy: I do dishes. :(

The eureka moment of weird code:

[11-23 @ 23:44] Jamie: yes.
[11-23 @ 23:44] Jamie: wait
[11-23 @ 23:44] Jamie: yeah
[11-23 @ 23:44] Jamie: whoa
[11-23 @ 23:44] ShinyPlasticBag: yes.

It’s just gross, and I don’t remember what the hell he was talking about:

[12-06 @ 21:56] Rogan: latex vagina would you like the additional orgasim kit
[12-06 @ 21:56] Rogan: just 20 more
[12-06 @ 21:56] Rogan: it squirts

This one is almost t-shirt worthy:

[12-06 @ 22:27] Apollo: It may be fake. I have no clue. Nipples are fun, especially in large numbers

Don’t ask:

[12-14 @ 16:01] Castro: now, unless I’m totally stupid… Atrophy is completely different than Jonathan, correct?

This is pretty much Keddy’s motto:

[12-21 @ 01:44] Keddy: SLeep it the 5 food groop

Deja vu all over again:

[12-22 @ 01:28] Mark: Wow, you have really soft hands.
[12-22 @ 01:28] Keddy: I do dishes. :(
[12-22 @ 01:28] Keddy: (laughing) Are you going to write that down?
[12-22 @ 01:28] Mark: This seems familiar somehow.

He was talking about Rainbow Valley:

[12-23 @ 01:48] Rogan: its true definately the high point of the place well the sodomizer was fun as well
3:52 PM on Saturday, December 31st, 2005.

Comments

Keddy@home

@ 5:25 pm on December 31st

Ahhhhhhhh all the funny shit… And I dont remeber the 5th food groop is sleep thing… But it sounds like something I wrote.

Apollo

@ 5:36 pm on December 31st

Oh, I’m so honoured to be included in the logs of greatness.

Emmé @ The Basement

@ 10:29 am on January 1st

I, however, feel so left out…did I not say anything last year which is worthy of repeating - on second thought, DO NOT answer that, Mark!

Steve

@ 8:30 pm on January 1st

You forgot my statement about how awesome I am Mark! i’m aware it was a real live vocal exchange but come on!

Chris

@ 1:20 am on January 2nd

Thank goodness I never having anything good or interesting to say. Boowah!

KEDDY@HOME

@ 2:27 am on January 2nd

I always have something to say…

Steve

@ 8:26 am on January 2nd

If it makes any sense thats a completely different story though.

Mum@MaryAnn-s Computer

@ 9:40 pm on January 3rd

And what about my all caps comments from Mexico!

KEddy@home

@ 1:11 pm on January 6th

DUDE!!!

Comments are closed.

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